I want...

Only 16 more days til I get to go back to camp. :-D Its so wierd. I've never missed anything so much. Maybe it was just the way of living up there. Like, you didn't have to worry about anything. Not about what to wear, about what to eat, or anything so trivial that makes life in the "real world" just so constricting. I want to live outside again. I want to hear the crazy birds waking me up in the morning. I want to race to the jinx to get the "good shower" and exchange sleepy good mornings and knowing smiles with the other counselors because we both know why we're so tired from dancing so much the night before, but the girls have no idea. I want to shape thier world again. A child's world where everything happens so seemlessly and they have no idea how much preparation goes into everything. I want to have rest hour in the middle afternoon and look up at the sun through the trees sheltering my tent. I want to sing songs with little girls sitting on my lap and leaning on my arms and cry whenever we sing the Helen Shaw song. I want to dance in the rain on the playfield with Jess and reluctantly put our shoes back on when it was time for the next bugle. I want to light up young faces looking up at me when I would play a few notes in the tunnel. I want to see fireflies again and sing the song in my head whenever I see them. I want to read a story to listening ears about a boy and his many adventures and then sing the hillside to sleep. I want to laugh with friends while having a massage party on the steps because your back does get sore from picking up girls all day. I want to watch girls running from thier tents after rest hour just in case it is candy day. I want to run and scream and sing songs in PJs and then eat cake and sing some quiet songs before heading off to sleep. I want to hug a girl whose having a rough day and dry her tears with a cool paper towel...the best medicine in camp. I want to harmonize with friends and sing songs around a piano. I want to wear silly outfits and laugh at our ridiculousness. I want to share jokes with friends and hug at the thought of leaving. sigh.

I want to feel alive again.